Inuyasha Insanity
by MipoChici
Summary: What happens when four teenage, obsessed, Inuyasha lovers end up in the feudal era? love, suspense, crazyness, danger, other stuff, and generally, this fanfic, biotches!
1. Purple glass up Your ass

I got the idea for this fanfic from a Nightmare Before Christmas fanfic. And my sister, Slave2Karma helped me with some of it.

Disclaimer: How didly doo everyone! Welcome to my fanfic. Hey, if it's my fanfic that means I can make anything I want happen. Hmmm….I could make Inuyasha strip. Well, anyway, I ate to admit it but….well….I don't own Inuyasha!Bursts into tears But, hey, I can dream.

Inuyasha Insanity Chapter 1 

We first meet our like heroes or whatever…gathering..at their..um…..gathering..

" At last! My masterpiece is finished!" Fern cried.

Kim looked down at her shoe. " Ack! You just drew freakin' Inufasha on my freakin' shoe!" Kim jumped up and ran to the bathroom.

"Wow," said Freya, " It looks just like Inuyasha……anyone got a pair of scissors?"

"You've got real problems," Hana said backing away from Freya.

"No. Just one big one."

Cocoa smiled. "You've got real talent, Fern."

"Thank you," replied Fern.

"Can you draw Kikyo for me?"

Hana jumped away from Cocoa and held up her fingers like a cross.

"Stay back!" She hissed.

Cocoa rolled her eyes. "Jeez, Hana. What has Kikyo ever done to you?"

"She broke my sweet little Inuyasha's heart."

Kim finally came back from the bathroom with her shoes wet.

"You guys are obsessed with Inuyasha. I don't know why you like him. The only cool guy is that Toga dude," Kim said, plopping b back down on the floor.

"Koga," Freya said quietly.

" No thank you. I went before we came here."

"Uh..no. His name is Koga."

" Whatever," Kim said.

"And you are so wrong. Inuyasha could so kick Koga's ass any day of the week," Hana said proudly.

"You're all wrong! In the end Naraku will win!" Everyone stared at Freya.

"_Right_," Fern replied.

" You guys _are_ obsessed."

" Hey," said Hana, " You don't even watch Inuyasha…so how do you know who Koga is, Kim?"

" Well…I…you see…."

" Bwa haha!" Fern laughed.

" I only watch it because Fern calls me every night at 10:00 pm and won't let me go back to sleep unless I get up and watch it!"

Kim started crying.

" Fern!" Hana shouted.

Kim smiled. " Ooh! Look who's in trouble!"

"You should have called me first, Fern. I could have helped."

"…You guys are obsessed!" Kim said again. " Look at what you're wearing!"

Hana, Fern, Cocoa and Freya all looked at each other. Hey, I gotta go to the bathroom- can you guys tell the audience what you're wearing?

" Fine lazy ass narrator/author/ strange voice from the sky. Ok, I'm wearing green cargos, a white Inuyasha tank top an Inuyasha beanie that we all have and that necklace that Inuyasha wears." Fern gives the thumbs up sign.

"Ok," said Hana, "I'm wearing a black skirt, an Inuyasha blue shirt with cut off sleeves and one of those beanies."

"I am wearing faded jean bell-bottoms, a shirt with Kikyo on it, it used to have Inuyasha on it but I took care of him, and also an Inuyasha beanie," Cocoa said.

"I'm wearing an Inuyasha beanie and my Karate outfit cause I didn't have time to change because somebody (Kim looks at Fern) tackled me on my way home and dragged me here," Kim said.

"I….I have no comment at this time," Fern said quietly.

"I'm wearing black pants, a black shirt and the Inuyasha beanie. What? What are you lookin' at!" Everyone backs away from Freya.

" Sorry….she's antisocial."

" Uh, Hana? I'm right here. I can hear you!"

"About the hat, Fern," started Kim, "Do I have to wear it?"

" Uh…yes."

"Why?"

"Don't you remember? We started an Inuyasha fan club!"

Flash back

"I'm bored," Kim whined.

"Me too," Hana agreed.

"I know what we can do!" cried Fern in excitement.

"Start a Kikyo fan club?" suggested Cocoa.

"….no…"

"How about a Naraku fan club?" Freya said.

"No! Let's start an Inuyasha fan club!" Fern finally replied.

" Fern," Hana said, "There are 300 other Inuyasha fan clubs in this state and 2 colts. What will make us different from the rest of them?"

"Ah, but we will have these cool matching Inuyasha beanies!" Fern reached into her bag and passed around 5 Inuyasha beanies.

End of flash back

"When was that?" Kim asked.

"About 5 minutes ago."

" So why am I here?" Freya said, confused.

"Well, I got something to show you guys."

" Oh, the narrator/author/strange voice from the sky is back……did you flush?"

Uh…..no……

"Well did you wash your hands!"

uhhhh….I—umm…washed my feet…?

Hana reached into her bag and pulled out something that seemed to be a shiny piece of purple glass.

"Is that what I think it is?" Cocoa asked in amazement.

"I think so."

"Wow, a piece of purple glass. I can't believe I'm missing a south park marathon for this," Kim said.

"Where did you find it?" Fern said in disbelief.

"In the tall grass on my way home from school."

"It's amazing," Cocoa said.

All of a sudden the piece of glass gave off a shiny purple light.

"Is that really it?" Cocoa whispered.

"hello! Cocoa, it's just a piece of purple glass!" Kim shouted.

"No," Said Freya, " It's a jewel shard."

All of a sudden Freya jumped on Hana and grabbed the jewel shard. She ran into Hana's back yard screaming something about helping Naraku. Fern, Hana, Cocoa and Kim jumped up and started running after her. But when they got to the back yard they realized she had disappeared.

"Now what do we do?" Cocoa whined.

"I know! I think she jumped down that old style Japanese well that I don't remember being here until just now. Let's follow her!" Fern suggested.

"What will that accomplish? Anything but breaking our necks!" Kim started to panic.

"No! It will take us to the feudal era!" Cocoa said.

"Great! Then Inuyasha will finally realize that we are soul mates." Hana sighed.

"Come on . Inuyasha is still in love with Kikyo!" hissed Cocoa.

"No way! He's in love with Kagome!" Fern stamped her feet.

"Yeah right! Kikyo could kick Kagome's ass!"

"Not before Kagome kicked her ass!"

"Personally I would kick both of there asses! Then I could have Inuyasha all to myself…" Hana said.

"Well, If you kicked her ass Then Kikyo would kick your ass!" Cocoa screamed.

"Hello? How could she? She would be unconscious from the ass kicking I had just given her!"

"Well, she would kick your ass when she woke up!"

"If you don't shut up I'm gonna kick all of your asses! Come on!" Fern shouted at them.

Fern grabbed everyone and pulled them down the well with her.

"Ow! Who's biting my leg?" cried Kim.

"Oopps…., " Cocoa said.

"Fern?" Hana asked.

Fern was all ready crawling out of the well.

"Fern? What are you doing!" Kim called up to her.

"I'm getting out of this well, duh!"

"Wait watch out for demons!" Cocoa cried.

"What? You think we really ended up in Inuyasha's world? I just jumped down the well for the heck of it."

Fern started laughing but stopped when she got out of the well.

"Oh my Inuyasha," Fern said.

Haha! Cliff hanger!

"What? You can't make a cliff hanger!" Hana said.

Yes, I can. It's my fanfic. Anything I want can happen.

"Ooohh…..Then can you make Inuyasha fall in love with me?" Hana asked hopefully.

No.

"You suck narrator/author/strange voice from the sky!" Hana shouted.

Suddenly Hana is struck with a terrible case of pneumonia.

"Ahh! The author's wrath!"

Bye y'all! Y'all come back now, you hear?

End of chapter1


	2. Destiny!

What? What are you all doing here? Oh, I get it. You must think this is a different fanfic.Welcome to chapter 2 of Inuyasha Insanity.

Inuyasha Insanity 

Chapter 2

Hana, Kim and Cocoa crawled out of the well.

"Wow, Hana. Your mom mowed the lawn," Kim said.

"Ok, the best thing for us to do right now is to stick together," Cocoa said, trying to stay calm.

All of a sudden they heard a loud scream.

"Ahh! It's every man for himself!" Cocoa screamed.

Cocoa and everyone else jumped back down the well.

"let's just stay calm," Hana whispered.

"Gaa!" Kim howled.

"Ahh! She's been possessed! Quick find a blunt instrument to hit her with!" Hana looked around on the ground.

"I'm not possessed."

"……..Still, find a blunt instrument!" Hana said again.

Kim stood up, holding the jewel shard.

"Oh, it's just that shiny piece of purple glass," Kim said with releife.

"Huh? The jewel shard!"

"Freya must have dropped it when she went down this way," Cocoa said.

"So now what?" Fern asked.

"I guess we'll climb out and…we'll be home," Hana said quietly.

"Well, that ended our adventure much faster than I thought. So..I guess the jewel shard is safe then," Cocoa said.

"Whatever."

Everyone slowly stood up and climbed out of the well.

"What the hell! We're supposed to be back home!" Fern said.

"Something must be wrong with the well," Hana guessed.

"Gaa! You guys said we'd be home!" Kim screamed.

Kim grabbed Cocoa and started choking her.

"Look! It's the good year blimp!" cocoa shouted.

"Huh? Where!" Kim asked.

"Up your ass! Haha!" Cocoa laughed.

"My ass? How'd it get up there?"

"You sucker," Cocoa said.

"Let's go walk around," Fern said.

The started walking around, but they bumped into something. The 'something' had a very Familiar Voice.

"Ow! Watch where you're going!" Said the familiar voice.

"Sor-Huh!" Fern's eyes widened.

"What are you looking' at?"

"Inuyasha!" Hana said in a happy voice.

"What? You know Inuyasha?" said another familiar voice wich was Miroku.

"Miroku, Sango, Kagome, Kirara, Shippo and Inuyasha! Give me a hug, you guys!" Fern squealed.

"Do we know you?" Sango asked.

"………"

Yes, that is correct. This Familiar Voice was indeed Inuyasha.

"How do you know who we are?" kagome asked.

"Well…….I…."Hana tried to talk.

"It's…uh…" Fern searched for words.

"out of my way--Why are you wearing me?" Inuyasha said.

"What?"

Inuyasha pointed to their clothes.

"Umm……I…..advertisement?" Fern said.

"Symbolism of love?." Hana said.

"Extortion?" Kim said.

"2 for 1 sale?" Cocoa said.

"2 for 1 sale! Where was that?" Hana asked.

"Spencer's."

"Oh…I'm going to Spencer's!"

"….Quick! They're possessed! Miroku, Help me find a blunt Instrument!" Inuyasha said.

"Why don't you use your head?" Kim suggested.

"What is that s'possed to mean?" Inuyasha asked.

"That you're a gimp."

"No one talks to me like that except me!" Inuyasha blurted out, stupidly.

Kim replied, "….you should really have a doctor look at your ears…that's just not right."

Now Inuyasha has furious. "IRON REAVER SOUL STEALER!"

"Inuyasha! Stop it!" Kagome shrieked.

Kim right in time steps slightly to the left, causing Inuyasha to slice into the ground and get a whole lot of dirt under his finger nails….don't you hate it when that happens? That dirt is murder to get out. I mean you gotta soak your nails in water, and then they're all soft and squishy and they rip off real easy..but if you don't get rid of it people are gonna look at your hands and say—

"GET ON WITH IT!" everyone ordered.

Fine.

"Ow! How did you block my attack?" Inuyasha said in a confused voice.

Kim blinked at him. "Hello! You always call it out before you attack. Duh."

"You know , Kagome you could have said sit," Sango pointed out.

"Oh…didn't think of that," Kagome answered.

"That's because you're stupid….." Hana said under her breath.

"What was that?" Kagome said, starring at Hana.

"Nothing….nothing at all…"

Hana look's at you ( the audience) and winks

"SO how do you know us?" Shippo asked.

"The show, duh," Fern said.

"What show?"

"What are you talking about?" Kagome said.

"Well, you see, were we come from Inuyasha is a TV show."

"What?" Sango asked.

"What is a TV show?" Miroku said, raising his eyebrows.

"It's this thingy were there's people in it. It's like a story only the people look like they're inside a box," Kagome explained.

"Do you mean we're in a box?"

"…..what?" Inuyasha said.

"How did you get here?" Kagome asked.

"Well," Fern replied.

"Well what?" Shippo said impatiently.

"Well. We fell down a well."

"How!" Kagome shouted.

"But me and KAgome are the only ones who can travel between the 2 dimensions of time through the well.Besides the only well that'll take you is the well in KAgome's world.Besides, the only well that'll take you here would be the old well in Kagome's world."

"How do you know! Have you guys ever pushed somebody else down the well!" Kim started freaking out.

"Well,….no..not exactly."

"Well, truth be told, for a few years now I have been studying every episode very carefully and memorizing each and every quote. In fact here is my favorite quote- " No. I hunted those men down. The demon I wanted to become, the power I desired, wasn't like this."," Hana said.

"Shut up!" Inuyasha said blushing.

"Go on. I'm fascinated by this. In fact, I'm so fascinated by this that my head would explode even if I began understanding what you were saying," Sango said.

"Well, I've been going to these Inuyasha Science Conventions-," Hana began.

" WHAT? Why didn't you tell me about those conventions," Fern asked.

" Cause youre mean."

" I'm not mean. You're just a sissy."

"Well, anyway. Our leader, Samuel Quinn Quackindorfer, came up with a theory."

"A theory?" Sango asked.

" The mirror to mirror theory."

"What the ef is that?" Cocoa said.

"Well, it's a theory Samuel proposed to the Inuyasha Science Comitee….but no…..it's not logical…there's no proof….you've been smoking too much weed….. STOP SETTING FIRE TO THINGS!…….OW, HOLY CRAP MY EYE!

"Just get on with it, will you?" Inuyasha snapped.

"Okay okay….well, it started out that there might be more than one reality, all on top of each other. Or next to each other.Sort of like when you put two mirrors next to each other."

" Wouldn't we bump into them?" Cocoa asked.

"No, because in that reality, that one doen't exist! Duh…." Hana explained.

"_Well, why on earth didn't I think of that?" _Fern said sarcastically.

"Well, Samuel proposed that, since there would be an infinite number of realitys, that there could be a world for every fictional story in existence!"

………ok then…..

"So how did we get here?" Kim said after awhile.

"Well, my horrible hanyou hating "friend" , It was also proposed that there could be tears in those worlds- worm holes if you must-that could lead to those alternet realitys. They could be located anywhere….tunnels..lockers..toilets…" Hana told them.

" Nope. Tried those. Didn't work," Cocoa said.

" Ok then…and.. evidently..wells."

" Wow…the plot for the ring suddenly makes perfect sense," Fern replied.

" Who would have thought that the tear to Inuyasha's world would be down a creepy old forgotten Japanese well," Cocoa said.

" It must be destiny." Hana scoots closer to Inuyasha.

" Ok then….that was very confuising.." Miroku replied.

Ok, people. Time to pack up. Hit the road. Come on. Chapter's over! Get up! What? You don't wanna leave? Well, you don't have to go home…but you can't stay here. Hey? Where'd you go?

…….

Hello?

end of chapter 2


	3. The defeat of Freya!

You! You people again? What do you want? Oh, right, the fanfic. You want some of this! ( waves papers with fanfic on it in audience's faces) Yeah, I thought so.

Inuyasha Insanity Chapter 3 

"So how do we get back?" Kim said after awhile.

"I dunno."

" What?" Cocoa demanded.

"Like I said. I don't know how to get home." Hana shrugged.

"You should know! You were the one just talking about all that mirror to mirror stuff!" Fern screamed.

"I know how to get here. I just don't know how to get back."

"Hana, you booger!" Fern said.

"How did you know about the booger?" Hana asked.

"….what?"

"uh..nothing."

"How are we going to get home?" Cocoa whined.

"I don't know."

"Hey, what happened to the jewel shard?" Fern asked.

"Wait. You guys have a jewel shard?" Kagome said, her eyes big.

"Uh. Duh," Cocoa said.

"How come I can't see it?"

"I don't know. Where is it?"

"That purple glassy thing? I dunno. Who gad it last?" Kim replied.

"It was my turn to hold it!" Cocoa said.

"didn't Hana have it?"

"Yeah…when she was in front of Kirara (pre-transformation)…when she was dangling it in front of Kirara's mouth." Fern said slowly.

Everyone turned to look at Kirara. There was a piece of string from the bag, which Hana had put the jewel shard in.

"Ahhh! Hana, you dummy!" Inuyasha screamed.

"…..How do you know about the booger?"

"Wait. We don't know for a fact that Kirara ate it….maybe she ate the bag!" Shippo said helpfully.

All of a sudden they noticed a purple light coming from Kirara's stomach.

"Yep. She ate it."

"How do we get it back?" Sango asked.

"We could get her to spew it up." Kim shrugged.

While they were suggesting what to do, they heard an all to familiar voice.

"Cut it out of her?"

Everyone turned around. Standing in front of them was Freya holding a pair of scissors.

"Come on. Freya, remember the doctor said you shouldn't be allowed to use and or hold pointy objects!" Cocoa said.

"Or shiny for that matter."

"You can't tell me what to do! Because you ain't my momma!And even if you where, you couldn't tell me what to do! Because my momma's in jail! And momma told me not to listen to criminals! That's why I don't listen to my momma. Or my dadda, my grandma, my dog, or that strange man outside of the citi financial bank who's always wrapped in old newspapers and asks me to bring him cat food! Well…okay sometimes I do listen to him. I've been hanging him out with after school. Good times…so many memories…so many strange fluids gushing out of his body…..he was my best friend...he still is…but that still doesn't mean you can tell me what to do!"

……everyone is dead silent….

"You mean Homeless Herb?" Said Kim.

"What's he up to these days?" Hana asked.

"SILENCE!I WILL NOT TOLERATE YOUR INCOLENCE! Now hand over the jewel shard!"

"It's inside Kirara.." said Shippo.

"Well…..then….hand over the kitty cat!"

"How about no? You crazy psycho-bastard!" Kim said.

"What?"

Everyone turned to look at Kim……dude……

"Huh! Your one of us!" Fern said, throwing her arms around Kim.

"Uh…no. Other than swallowing the jewel shard she swallowed my wallet."

"Ah. I see." Cocoa sighed.

"Well can you make Kirara spit it up or something?" Freya said impatiently.

"um…sure." Kim started walking forward toward Kirara.

"Kim!" Everyone screamed and grabbed on to Kim.

"I-I-I wasn't really gonna do anything…."

"We're not giving you the jewel shard and that's final!" Hana said.

"Why not!"

"Uh..because your evil and have a history of mental illness….?"

"But, that's beside the point! If you don't give me the pussy cat then I'll take it myself!" said Freya as she advanced upon Kirara.

Suddenly Kirara transformed and scratched Freya.

"Ow! You scratched me you a hole!"

Kirara scratches her again, this time knocking her over.

"Ow!…..hmm….this isn't working very well…I think it's time to call it a retreat….don't worry! I'll be back! I'LL ALWAYS BE BACK! Oh..and um… Fern, my dad wanted me to give these apples from our tree to your mom.."

Freya handed Fern a bag of apples.

"Thanks, Freya!" fern said, waving goodbye as Freya walked away.

"That was very odd.." said Kagome.

"Yeah," Cocoa said. "How come I didn't get any apples?"

"Well, there's still the little problem with the jewel shard…" Inuyasha said.

"How are we gonna get it out?" said thy Shippo. "And since when am I a 'thy'?"

Everyone suddenly started looking at Shippo and the transformed Kirara. ……..and Hana's piece of string.

"uh………what are you guys looking at?" Shippo asked.

"Well, the good news is we thought of a way to get the jewel shard back….."Sango said.

My sister Slave2karma helped me with this chapter……I salute you sissy! Oh, yeah….make sure to tune in next time for another episode of Family Guy!

"Not family guy.." Fern says to me.

Futurama?

"It's still a little off," Cocoa said.

The new adventures of Scooby-Doo?

"HELL NO!" Said everyone.

Well, I know it comes on on the same channel! Stop harassing me!

End of chapter 3 


	4. Don't muss with me!

Oh, you like me, you really really like me!

Audience-No, we couldn't find any tomatoes, so were throwing these roses in the hope that one of the thorns will cut you.

……….Ok then…….?

Audience- Stupid Author/Narrator/strange voice from the sky! You waited months before you uploaded a new chapter! Damn You!

Geez….It's not my fault Slave2Karma and I were shipped off to Florida to be worked from Dusk till dawn by our Grandmother! (She made us do aerobics……Oh…gawd….I'm so glad its over..)

Inuyasha Insanity Chapter Four 

So we ….um..find our …uh..people….

"Hey, you people came back!" Cocoa said in surprise. Everybody waved.

"Were you been?" Kim asked impatiently.

Audience- We've been right here…waiting for the Narrator/Author/Strange Voice from the sky to upload!

"Gawd Narrator/Author/Strange Voice from the sky…What took you so damn long!" Inuyasha replied.

"You know Inuyasha…you shouldn't swear…cause you know…you aren't good at it..really…" said Fern.

"And you're any better!"

"She's right you know," said Kagome "your swear words always seem so unplaced, and awkward."

"…Damn you…" sputtered Inuyasha.

"See? See what we mean?" Kim asked.

" Inuyasha, if you gonna censored swear than you gotta censored know how to censored censored swear you censored censored censored or else you should just censored your censored censored ! Bizatch!"

Everybody looked around for the person who had said that censored paragraph. They all looked at Shippo.

"Shippo!" Everybody screamed.

"What's up my censored censored censored ? Why are you all censored starring at me, censored ?" said Shippo….Shippo!….oh my…..

………..

"Well..that was rather strange…" Miroku said after awhile.

Audience-So what are you people doing?

"Ah, We are sticking this rope tied around Shippo's waist down Kirara's throat so that we can get my wallet-er, I mean the jewel shard-out before she digests it," Kim explained.

Isn't Shippo a little big?

"Well, actually we are having a difficult time sticking him down there….but this is our only option…" Sango said.

Hey, why don't you stick Myoga down there instead?

"We can't find him," Hana said.

"He's been missing for awhile now," Kagome said. "We don't know where he's been."

"So Shippo, Have you found anything-Hey! Cocoa what's that?"

"….What's what?"

"You're eating something," Kim pointed out. "Wait, is that KFC?"

"Um…..maybe."

What? Food! Gimme!

"Where did you get that?" Hana asked.

"I brought it with me," Cocoa said as she tried to fight off the Narrator/Author/Strange Voice from the sky.

At that moment everyone began closing in on Cocoa.

"Hey, you guys! I was gonna tell you about it…..eventually….! Here! You guys can have the biscuit. Oh, and the mashed potatos..they taste like cardboard anyway…."

Two seconds later 

"Hey, you guys took my chicken!"

"You _are_ a chicken!" Kim said with a mouthful of Kentucky Fried Chicken.

HHmm…Chicken.

"Well, anyway Shippo…have you found anything yet?" Miroku asked.

"I think I found Kim's wallet, but I don't see the jewel shard anywhere."

"Well, I guess it's on to plan B…." Fern said.

Ok, People. Scene change. Come on!

Plan B! 

"Oh my gawd..it's just like in Jurassic Park three when the dinosaur ate that dudes phone and then they had to go digging through the dinosaurs pooh to find it!"

"Ok, enough, Cocoa, we get it!" Kagome said.

"No really, this is just so cool..I mean I've always loved that movie…I mean The first one was good but then the lost world was..well…not as good….and then they made the third one and they brought back Doctor Grant and everything…and ….wow…it's just too cool for words…." Cocoa trailed off.

"Would you just shut up? That movie came out years ago!" Kim said in a impatient and rude way.

"Yeah, I mean, I know…but until they make another one with Malcolm….I refuse to stop talking about it…..I mean it's cool and everything that they brought back Doctor Grant but still….They gotta bring back Malcolm….I mean…he's like everyone's favorite….."

…………..Everyone just stared at Cocoa….

"Well, I don't know…I kinda liked that Billy kid….." Hana said.

"Hey you guys know that old guy from the first one…the guy who created the Park? Does he remind you of Sean Connery?" Fern asked.

Would you guys shut up!

"Gawd….Narrator/Author/Strange Voice from the sky…you don't have to yell at us!"

"Yeah….You know if Miss Swan from mad TV were here she would say 'Ho,you need to take a chill pill'," Kim said.

"Oh my gawd, did you know that the lady who plays Miss Swan does the voice for Lois in Family Guy?" Kagome said.

…….Whoa…Really?

"Okay can we get this over with already?" Sango asked.

"I can't believe you're making us dig through Kirara's poop!" Inuyasha said.

"Well, it's the only way to get the jewel shard back…." Miroku said.

"Hey, I found something!" shouted Fern.

"Is it the jewel shard!" Inuyasha asked.

"No…it's …Myoga!"

"Oh my Gawd…thank you strange demon," Myoga said.

"How did you……I don't even want to know.

"Hey, I found it!" Sango said, holding up a poop covered jewel shard.

"Glad that's over!" Shippo said once they had washed their hands off in a stream.

Suddenly Miroku noticed that Cocoa was staring at him.

"What? Why are you starring at me like that!" He asked.

"It's just that…well….you haven't asked us..yet."

"Asked you what?"

"You're supposed to ask us to bear your child…….you haven't asked us yet.." Cocoa said.

……..

"She's right!" Sango said in a surprised manner. He he….I used the word "manner".

"Wow..your showing good restraint today…" Kagome said as she patted Miroku on the back.

"Yeah, how come you haven't asked us yet!" Hana said shaking him.

"well….I would but….," Miroku looked at them, "under the circumstances….I'd…um…rather ask Inuyasha than you guys.."

"I KNEW IT! YOUR WARM FOR HIS FORM!" Kim screamed.

Hana screamed. "Inuyasha, how could you! I thought what we had was special!"

"No…I was just hypothetically speaking….." Miroku explained.

"What do you mean hypothetically speaking? You asked his last week," said Kagome.

……….I was not aware of this……

"Hey, I was very drunk!" Miroku said.

"What? What do you mean? You asked him? Oh my gawd! I was just kidding around…I didn't know that you really……" Kagome said.

While they were arguing a sudden gust of wind came and Koga appeared.

"Wow, that was rather sudden," Fern said.

"Who are you?" Koga asked.

"Uh…we are no one …..this is just a dream…..you're sleeping peacefully…go back to sleep…crazy person.." Cocoa said. "Ew…he fell asleep…wow I always wanted to trick somebody into thinking they were asleep…wow..I did it….Oh, gawd. He's drooling."

"Ok, so what's going on? Who are all of you people?" Koga said once they had woken him up.

"Well, we're all to lazy to explain, so you'll have to read it yourself," Hana said.

Hana handed Koga a notebook with the first three chapters written down in it.

"Wow," Koga said when he was done reading it. "You know, that's actually really good….I mean Narrator/Author/Strange Voice from the sky…did you ever think of sending this into Rumiko Takahashi for like the outline of episode or something. cause this is just…wow."

………..Uh…how about no? Crazy-Bastard.

"No, I mean I get that you're shy and would be all embarrassed if she used it but…I mean this is just really good…."

…Yeah? You know what my favorite part is?

"What?" Koga asked.

The part where you get hit with a very large lampshade.

"What..? When was that?" Koga said flipping through the pages again.

Right….Now! (heaves a very large lamp shade and hits Koga on the head with it)

"Oh my gawd…you knocked him out!" Kagome screamed.

……He had it coming.

"But he was complimenting you," Miroku said.

"I don't mind much," Inuyasha said handing me my payment.

"Hey how come we can see you Narrator? Shouldn't you like..not be part of the story, just telling it?" Kim pointed out.

It's my story and I can do what I want! Okay let's all wave to the audience!

"What? You can't make us wave!" Hana said.

Sure I can. I'm willing you to wave. (Everyone waves!)

"But I'm not willing to wave!" Fern said, as she waved.

Fern hits herself again and again with her hand. Do not muss with the author!

"You mean mess with the author," Said Sango as she too hit herself on the head.

Well, until Koga regains consciousness, do not muss with me!


	5. I can't think of a name 4 this chapter

Hana is crying. "Oh, god! Whyyyy!"

Um Hana? Are you okay?

"NAAAHhHH?" 

What's wrong?….

"I…I just saw the second Inuyasha movie!"

But…you've seen it before…..

"I saw the end! Fern, you lied!"

"What? W…what? What do you mean the end!" Fern sputtered.

"You know what I mean! That part where you always said something was wrong with the DVD and fast forwarded it! The part where They kissed?" Hana screamed. "Why didn't you tell me?.." she added.

"Hey! I was protecting you?" Fern yelled.

"Inuyasha…? How could you?…I….I thought what we had was special!"

"Um…..Oh, yeah! Well, guess what! Now we don't have anything anymore!" Inuyasha shouted.

………………this is getting weird...lets just start the fanfic!

Inuyasha Insanity

Chapter 5

"Is that wolf awake yet?" Inuyasha asked impatiently.

"I dunno…Here I'll check." Cocoa picked up a stick and poked Koga with it.

"Stop poking me!"

"Oh, my gawd! He's alive! Hes alive!" Kim said.

"Duh, I'm alive…um…who are you?" he said staring at Kim, Cocoa, Hana and Fern. Then he noticed there clothes had Inuyasha on them.

"Am I in hell?"

"What's that supposed to mean!" Inuyasha said.

"That you're ugly..?" Koga said.

"Hey, you'd probably look just like me if you had amber eyes and silver hair!"

"You know…um…I'd say your hair is more of a white then a silver," Kagome said.

"You think so? Cause I always thought that it was gray." Sango said.

"Me too," agreed Miroku.

"I just thought his hair was that color cause he's old," Shippo said.  
"Hey!" Inuyasha screamed.

"That's what I thought!" Fern said.

Kagome looked at Koga and frowned.

"Hey, Koga? How come I can't see your jewel shards?"

"Some crazy girl ambushed me and took them!" He said.

"Damn you, Kikyo!" Hana screamed.

"Hey," Cocoa said " What makes you think Kikyo took it!"

"Welll….Helllooo! She's evil!" Hana screamed.

"She is not! She's just a poor lost soul!"

Kim raised her hand.

"yes Kim?" asks fern nicely.

"maybe freya took it." Kim says in a matter-o'-fact voice.

"...that might be it." cocoa and Hana say.

koga raises his hand.

"yes koga?" fern say nicely again.

"who is freya, and who is kikyo?"

... 

"how can you not know who kikyo is!" cocoa shouts.

"pssttt...calm down...he was not present at the time of kikyo events." Hana says.

"ohhhhhhh...well I guess I forgive you." cocoa says patting koga on the back.

gawd can you guys just get on with the story! this is taking me to long!

"hey...your the bitch that hit me with that lampshade!" koga points at me. 

ummm...no I'm not?

"yes you are I saw you!"

"yeah I saw it to." shippo said.

ummm... (picks up lampshade)

"look, now your plotting to do it again!" Kim says.  
"stop being so violent!" fern shouts.

okay guys...lets all agree to disagree.

"c'mon," kagome said. "the important thing now is that that crazy person has the jewel shards. we have to get them back."

"bla me naaa...we have to get them back." Hana mocked.

"ummm...do you have a problem with me?" kagome asked.

"where do you wanna start!" Hana shouted.

"well if you do, go ahead and say it!"

"they remind me of koga and inuyasha." sango said.

"hello, I'm right here!" inuyasha and koga exclaimed.

Kim blows a big whistle...hey she took my whistle! that was the whistle I blow every time theres a new chapter!

everyone stops arguing and looks up.

"whats up doc?" asks cocoa.

"if we keep yelling and fighting then nothing will ever get accomplished! koga jewel shards will be lost forever, Hana and kagome will kill each other, inuyasha, sango, miroku, and shippo won't get a fair amount of lines, and neither will kirara, and I won't be able to get home in time for taco thursday! from now on, if anyone has anything they want to say, raise your hand." 

everyone is silent for a moment...then cocoa raises her hand.  
"yes cocoa?" Kim asked.

"I gotta go to the bathroom."

everyone is silent again.

"well hold it!" said thy Kim (since when is she a thy?)

"but I've been holding it!"

"why didn't you go before we left!" fern asked.

"I didn't have to go then!"

"you should have gone anyway!" screamed Hana.  
"but there's a scary spider in the sink!" cocoa stammered.

"you leave spidy outa this!" shouts fern. 

**FlashBack**  
(4 years ago)

"Whoa, Fern!" shouted Hana from the bathroom. "You gotta come see this!"

"Jeez, Hana. You don't have to be such a show off. Everyone can do it to." Fern said.

"No really come here! There's all these spiders in the sink!"

Fern got up and entered the bathroom...and...oh,god, Hana! Flush it down!

Fern looked it the sink.

"Holy Freakin Inuyasha!" Fern said, taking out her inhaler.

the sink is covered with all these tiny baby spiders.

"I came in here, and they we're all over the place! aren't they cute..." Hana trails off as fern stares at the spiders.

fern blinks...then turns on the sink, thus sending our spidery friends to their death.

"NOOOOO! fern how COULD YOU? they had names!" Hana starts to cry.

"you'll get over it...just like how you got over the turtle."

"shelly! noooooo! it should have been me who that sixth grader through at the electric fence!" Hana starts crying more.

Hana sadly looked at the sink...and hey! theres still one alive! 

"hey! there is still one alive!" ...hana's a copier.

"oh...here I'll get it!" fern starts to turn on the sink.

"nooooo!" hana runs in slow motion and pushes fern into the shower.

"ow! you pushed me you animal loving crazy person!" fern said. 

hana holds the spider.

"you can live here forever!" hana said, putting the tiny spider on the sink.

(end flash back)

"you've had that gross spider I your bathroom for 4 years?" Kim asked.   
"yes. and if we're lucky, we'll have him for another 4 years."fern remarks proudly.

"...aren't you the one who tried to kill him?" asked cocoa.

"...we've come to terms now. I see what I did was wrong, but I do not dwell on it. live in the now!"

well...as much as I, the author would love to go on about these crazy things...well actually, no I wouldn't love to. I'd hate it.

"but I still gotta go to the bathroom." cocoa said in a baby voice. 

well, I the author say you don't. SO LET IT BE WRITTEN, SO LET IT BE DONE AND ALL THAT CRAP.

"fine...mean author."

shaddup. 

"well, where were we?"

Freya took koga's jewel shards. Now she's even more powerful then the time her medication failed and she climbed on top of the gym roof and threw basketballs at anyone who came within five yards…those things hurt!

"hey…narrator/author…you were there?" asked Kim.

I've been with you all for a very long time…heeheeheee.

"well, that explains why theres always been this odd person following us around with a type writer."said cocoa.

"she's right though…we've seen what freya can do when she's mad…now she's mad…..you remember what happened to old man withers…think what she could do with the jewel shards." Fern remarked.

"yeah okay…lets get back to work." Agreed hana.

Everyone stared at inuyasha, kagome, miroku, shippo, sango, and kirara.

"umm..why are you all staring at us?" sango asked.

"well, we said back to work." Fern said.

"yeah, so lets get back to what you we're doing before we came!…hey, what were you doing? Hot on the trail of another jewel shard I suppose?"

Everybody was very quiet…

**Flashback**

(Hey, my second one in this chapter! I'm on a roll, Baby!)

We see Kagome grabbing on to the well and Inuyasha pulling her feet. Everyone else is just watching them…

"I wanna go home you jerk!" Kagome shrieked.

"No! We have to find the jewel shards!" Inuyasha shrieked back.

"STOP BEING MEAN!" kagome screamed.

"I'm not mean!"

"ummm…well…" said miroku.

"shove it!" inuyasha yelled at miroku.

"…meanie."

Kagome kicks inuyasha in the face, and runs off.

"come back here!" inuyasha said, running after her, with everyone else close behind.

All off the sudden, Ferns head popped up out of the well….

"oh my inuyasha….." said Fern. (see end chapter 1)

**end flashback**

"well…okay you guys are losers." Said Kim.

"you take that back!" said inuyasha.

"except you, inuwasha." Said Kim.

"thank you."

"…you're a dumbshit."

Koga laughed.

"don't laugh at me!" inuyasha yelled.

"what? I didn't laugh."

"but the author just said you did…"

…no I didn't….

"but if you didn't then…"they all hear laughing again.

Our heroes turn and look into the bushes….OMG…

Everyone looked wide eyed, and did a group gasp.

"oh my inuyasha…"said hana.

Fern took out her inhaler.

CLIFFHANGERS! You never know when they is gonna sneak up on ya! Make sure to come back and find out what happens!

The current inuyasha theme song starts to play

"whoa whoa whoa! You can't use that!" said fern to me.

Umm…why not?

"its copyright I tell you! Copyright!" cocoa explained.

"yeah if Rumiko Takahashi finds out about this we're gonna be in—OH GAWD THERE SHE IS!" hana shouted pointing and jumping up and down.

Rumiko Takahashi approaches me.

Rumiko Takahashi- Ho, I goin' file one big-ass law suit on you!

But…but.. I can't afford a lawyer…well, better start savin up for my court appeal.

I grab ferns inhaler.

"hey, I need that to live!" shouted wheezy fern.

Fern, I cannot afford your health!

"don't forget to leave reviews everyone! Cuz' every review you leave gets us that much closer to hiring a lawyer!" said hana

Rumiko Takahashi- sienara suckers!


	6. Kagome and Inuyasha Forever

"Welcome back, you crazy kids!" shouted fern.

"Just look at you all...reading Inuyasha fanfic's...watching Inuyasha...submitting reviews (emphasize on that)...taking all of America's luxury's for granted...throwing away the crust of your pizza! Did you know every time you throw away pizza crust, a child starves in Africa! But do you give a damn! Oh no, you don't care...you say you do...but you don't...your all to busy going on the computer, watching TV, sharpening pencils with the electric pencil sharpener! " ranted Freya.

"well you know what you can do with your electric pencil sharpener! you can take a pencil, and--" Hana covered Freya's mouth. 

"anmm mffmff mmfff fmmfmf mufmuf! muff nummph nofff!" Hana takes her hand of Freya's mouth.

"Until the handle breaks off, and you gotta find a doctor to pull it out again!" everyone stares at Freya.

"...When did you get here?" asked cocoa.

"Never you mind Kim. Never you mind."

"I'm cocoa. You've known me for the past three years."

"oh. No kidden?" Freya pondered...hee heee... pondered.

"This is taking up to much of my life. What happened to the author/ narrator?" Kim grouched.

They all turn around to see me, watching saw II. Don't go to the peephole! There's a gun!

"Author what are you doing?" asked Hana.

I'm watching a scary movie. Big deal wanna fight about it?

"No...how did you get that? It's still in theaters," proclaimed Freya. 

I've got connections.

"wha..." 

a friend of mine downloads pirated films okay?

"No, that's not okay! Piracy is so wrong!" everyone boo's and throws eggs at me.

Jeesh...you guys are okay with jack sparrows...but when someone else pirate's... 

suddenly Hana jumps up and slaps me. Hey!

"Never take the name of jack sparrows in vain!" Hana bows down to a gold jack sparrow statue.

I thought you liked Inuyasha.

"ackk! My heart! How can I choose between my two true loves?" Hana looked back and forth between the golden jack statue and the golden Inuyasha statue.

"Which one do you have more of a chance with?" asked fern. 

"hhhhmmm... sorry captain, it's been nice knowing ya!" Hana throws the golden jack statue down the well.

"Start the fanfic author dude!" commanded Hana.

Fine fine...I push pause on the TV. Okay here we go!

**Inuyasha Insanity**

Chapter 6 

Bum bum bump!

"What was that?" asked Sango.

Um..me?

"Okay, so…are-is anyone planning on unveiling this mystery thingy from the last chapter to the audience?" asked Koga.

Whoa, Koga! I forgot you were here...hhmm…better start giving you some limes…I mean lines..hehehe

"You're the one who put me in the fanfic!" Koga limed.

"Well, orange…I mean aren't you going to tell the audience about this sinister, mystery... thingy?" said Miroku.

Naw…I lazy..I no even put a an before lazy. Cocoa do it for me! Yeah, yeah! Hotdog!

"I…can't…" moaned Cocoa.

What wrong with Cocoa? Lazy too? Lazy bitch like me?

"Kikyo…she…she's dead! Kikyo can't die! She's supposed to be with Inuyasha, and they were going to have these creepy little pale kids with funky fox ears! I... i feel so dead inside…Rumiko Takahashi you have no idea what you've done to the kikyo lovers! You die now!" Cocoa screamed.

Rumiko Takahashi- ho you need to take one chill pill! Nobody, yeah nobody like Kikyo so much! She going to make rating drop down! I tell you !

Whoa…Rumiko I like applaud you for creating Inuyasha but dude…I cannot understand a single thing you just said.

"Hello! My misery here! Comfort me!" said Cocoa and Inuyasha together.

Fine fine…guys, we all liked Kikyo deep down…but, Cocoa, lets face it…nobody can go on forever….not even Monty Pythons Flying Circus. Rumiko just saved Kikyo from the inevitable, by letting her go before the TV. show ended…she had to die. It was for the best. And I'm sure, right now, she's looking up at all of us.

Everyone is very touched and moved…except Hana who thinks silently…one down one to go….

"That was great author but…what do mean 'up at us'?" questioned Fern.

Ehhh…c'mon…we like her deep down, but get real! She's going to hell for sure!

"Okay bitches and witches…. this is taking up way to much time…lets give Kikyo a moment of silence and get back to the mystery thingy!" Kim went.

Everyone is silent for a moment…okay back to the mystery thingy…Oh my gawd its..its….

My mom

A hoard of demon bandits getting all drunk and partying.

Homeless Herb trying to eat the golden Jack Sparrows statue

Okay if you guessed C, you were right, but that's not what the mystery thing is. It was B. yeah..It was a hoard of funky party troll like demons…ya know the blue and green ones with the loin- cloths? Yeah and they have all this gold and horses and sake.

"Oh gawd! This is just like my cousins college party…except there they had ponies, and these are clearly Arabian bred horses." Hana remarked.

"shhhhhhhh! We need to be quiet! Or they will hear us!" said Shippo in a voice louder then a whisper, but a little lower then—oh shit they heard me!

The angry funky party demon bandits get up. And I run away!

"Hey where are you going?" Kagome shouted at me.

Hey, I had a bad experience with angry funky party demon bandits okay?

Angry funky bandit demon #1- do my eyes hic deceive me, or is hic it Inufasha?

"Do we know you!" asked Inuyasha…oh I'm sorry Inuyasha…I didn't give you any limes!

Angry funky bandit demon #2- you sure as hell hic do! You killed our father!

…..

Angry funky bandit demon #3- hey, aren't ya hic going to do a flash back?

Hell no! Ya people ain't important enough! I'm even writing you guys out in script format, like Rumiko! I mean, I don't even type your names more then once! I cut and paste!

Angry funky bandit demon #1- ow…hic…that's like, mean.

Angry funky bandit demon # 3- yah! hic as soon as we sober up…we're going to kill you guys…ummm…uhhh….who has my loin cloth?

"Are you sure this is a hoard? Cause there is only like three talking." Asked Kagome.

Angry funky stoned bandit demon #4- hey hic some of us hic maybe don't feel like hic Talking…dude everything is all hic …whoa. Neat colors.

"This is degrading to demons every where…Miroku, put them out of their misery." Said Koga, shaking his head.

Miroku sucked up the hoard, horses in all up into his wind tunnel…fwoooooooosh!

"Gaaa! The horses! You sucked up the horses you…you…sucker!" screamed Hana.

"Well…sometimes you need to make sacrifices…" Miroku said.

" You bastard! What are you going to suck up next huh? Unicorns!" Hana started throwing magic glitter at Miroku.

Suddenly, we all hear the laughing from chapter 5 again.

"What the?" Everyone says together.

They look up to see, Freya and Naraku! Gasp! They have joined forces! shit!

" Haha! The joke is on all of you! While you were busy fending off those bandits, I switched Kirara with an ordinary house cat!" proclaimed Freya.

It was true! Kiraria had been switched with a normal what and black kitty!

"Haha! While you were haha-ing me, I switched them back! And Kirara doesn't have the shard anymore! Get the net!" shouted back Hana, holding Kirara.

"Haha! While you were doing that, I took the jewel shard!" Freya yelled.

"Haha! You failed to realize that the jewel shared was just a splintered piece of glass from a sake bottle hiccup pretty good sake to heeeheee..." Fern said all drunk like.

"Haha! While you were getting all drunk, you failed to realize that now that you have given me a brain, I will destroy you and Oz!" 

...huh? 

"Oh wrong movie." said Feya. "But you failed to see that, now that I have joined forces with Naraku, it doesn't matter what you do! We will win! And Author, give Naraku some limes!"

No, but I'll give him those crappy apples you gave to Fern, I say throwing them at her!

"Hey, I wanted those!"

"Haha! You don't have any apples!" cheered Freya.

"Haha! While you were going on with all your on abouts, you didn't see that we've moved a great enough distance away to suck you up in the wind tunnel! Fwoooosh!"

"Freya you fool!" said Naraku.

Indeed, they had moved far away from Freya, Naraku, and the normal house kitty. Miroku started using the wind tunnel.

"I can't believe we're present at this historic event! Naraku is going to die! Who was a camera phone? Kim! Let me borrow your camera phone!" Fern nerded.

"I lent it to Hana…dork." Kim said.

"Are you saying I'm a dork, or that Hana is a dork? Oh no time! Hana! Where's Hana?" Fern looked around.

"She's over there…running over to Naraku and Freya! What the heck?"

"I'll save you normal house hold kitty! Miroku may have gotten the horses, but he won't get you!" Hana shouted as she ran to the kitty, which was in the path of the wind tunnel.

"Hana! NOOOOOOOO!" Fern went running after Hana.

Cocoa and Kim look at each other.

"I've already lost Kikyo! I can't afford to loose Fern and Hana too!" Cocoa exclaimed.

"Ehhhh… she's got my camera phone." Kim shrugged.

They started to run after Fern and Hana.

"Where are they going? You guys! You're going to get hurt!" Kagome yelled.

"They have the jewel shard! I'm going after them!" Inuyasha declared.

"Inuyasha!" Kagome yelled.

Inuyasha and Kagome ran after Cocoa…and Fern. And Kim. And Hana. They almost reached them when—fwoooooosh! They all got sucked up!

"What have I done!" yelled Miroku.

Okay, that about wraps it up.

"What are you talking about! You can't suck us up like we are nothing! You can't end the fanfic like that!" proclaimed Kim.

Okay, one- I can do whateva the bleeding hell I want! I can even talking in a bleeding street British accent! And two- who said the fanfic was over?

"You…you mean…."

Yes yes…now it's piggy bank time!

"What piggy bank time?" asked Koga.

You know..Time to check the ol' piggy bank that contains the money we get each time somebody submits a review. This lawsuit with Rumiko ain't going to pay for itself.

Author/Narrator takes out a hammer and smashes the piggy bank and everybody stares at the contents.

"Okay…We've got 5 dollars and a Canadian coin," said Naraku. Whoa, Naraku! First time in the fanfic! High five, my brother!

"Yay-ya!" says Thy Naraku as he high fives me. "Whoa! I get to be a 'thy'?"

You can be whatever you want to be, I say wiggling my eyebrows.

"Oh, really? So..uh whatcha doing after the fanfic?" Naraku asks me.

"That's just wrong." Said Kim.

Don't forget to leave reviews! It helps….well..um me!

"Come on..end it already," Naraku said suggestively.

Okay! Here it is everyone, your moment of Zen.


	7. And ever and everw'ever

Author/Narrator walks into the room. Hi!

"Author! Where have you been?" screamed Fern. "Do you know how hard it was to try to write this fanfic without you?!"

You guys tried to write it without me?

Flashback 

"The ideas have stopped flowing!" said Hana.

"Writer's cramp!" screamed Cocoa, holding her wrist.

"I hate this part!" wailed Fern, as she ripped a piece of paper.

Author/Narrator walks into the room. Hi!

End Flashback 

"Serioously, where have you been?!"

Um..I was taking a nap.

"For a year and a half??!" Kim exclaimed.

Oh. I was at school. I skipped a grade.

…….

"You mean, like, backwards?" Cocoa said.

No. Forward.

"But..you're stupid.." Hana said, in a confused voice.

Yeah, but only in the fanfic. In real life, as I understand, I'm somewhat of a genius. It's been over a year since they bumped me up.

"So, our entire life has been a lie? What else have you been hiding from us?!"

Uh…sorry. I didn't realize how much me being stupid mattered to you.

"Yeah, well, it matters! It matters big time!!!!" Said a befuddled Cocoa.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Author, did you just say befuddled?"

Yeah. Cant a girl use an online thesaurus to find a synonym for bewildered? Anyway, sorry. My bad.

"Can we just start the fanfic already?" Kim whined. "I wasn't whining!"

Um..actually, I had some opening entertainment planned.

"Opening entertainment?"

Yeah, you know. Give the ol' fic a good comeback party.

"Okay. What did you have planned?"

Everybody, I'd like to welcome, _the_ Ozzy Osborne!

"Ozzy?!" everyone said with astonishment.

Ozzy walks on.

Ozzy- Hello everybody! For my first act, I'm going to bite the head off Fern! Whoo!

Ozzy grabs Fern and takes a big bite out of her head. Ozzy takes another bite.

Ozzy-I'll finish it later! Go fanfic! Whoo!

"I'll never use my cerebral cortex again," said a star struck Fern.

Okay, let's get this show on the road!

Inuyasha Insanity Chapter Seven 

We meet our heroins falling into a black pit of darkness, also know as Miroku's hole. Heh. Miroku has a hole.

"Um, I think you mean Heroines."

No I meant heroin. Cause you crazy biotches. As they were falling, we heard a CLICK.CLICK-CLICK-CLICKITY-CLACK.

"Ahh! What is that?" Kim said.

CLICKITY-CLACK-CLANK!

"Whatever you are just take Hana and go!!" screamed Fern.

"Hey!" Hana cried.

"Sorry, Hana! It's been real!"

CLICKITY-CLICK-CLACK-CLICKITY-CLACK right up in Fern's ear.

"Cocoa, why are you so close to me?"

We find that Cocoa is right up in Fern's grill, knitting. Cocoa proceeds to knit, the needles clicking.

"Are you knitting?" Kim asked, in hysterics.

"Um, duh. Doesn't everybody?"

Cocoa, you nerd!!

"Laugh all you want, but when winter comes, and you all freeze to death because you don't have a scarf, I'm be laughing! I'm be the one laughing then!!"

Okay, then.

So anyway, we are now plummeting into darkness.

"Ahh!"

Still plummeting.

"Wahhh!!!"

Even more plummeting.

"Ahh…."

What the hell is this, a bottomless pit??!

"You guys wanna play twenty questions?"

Finally, out of nowhere, we plopped onto something black and squishy. Ooh, squishy.

"So. Do you guys like the Movie Six Sense?" Kim asked.

"Well, you know, it was totally obvious throughout the whole movie that Bruce Willis was a ghost," Fern said.

"I didn't see it coming," Cocoa replied.

Yeah, me neither. You would think the kid would tell him when he said, I see dead people.

"No freaking way! He's a ghost?!" Hana said.

Well, duh. You never saw the end?

"I've seen it like five times! But he's a ghost? I totally didn't get that."

Well, it's kinda obvious.

"It is so not!! You would have to be like, Albert Einstein to figure that one out."

W'ever.

"Say what?"

What?

"No, what did you just say?"

W'ever? It's whatever shortened. Everyone's saying it.

"W'ever," Cocoa said. See?

Right then, Inuyasha and Kagome landed on top of Fern.

"Ow!! You landed on top of me!!"

"Shut up, Fern! Don't treat my Inuyasha like that! You can treat Kagome like that, but don't you even think about talking to Inuyasha like that!" Hana shrieked with rage. Rage, I tell you. RAGE.

"Sorry, Hana, but my head cant handle this much in one day. It's already attracting ants from when Ozzy bit it."

We see that ants and bugs are crawling over Fern's head, like when you leave an old sandwich or cheese doodle out. Mmh, cheese doodle.

"I love cheese doodles!" Cocoa said randomly. "Hey, that wasn't random, you just said something about cheese doodles. Save the stupidness for Hana, I'm the _ditsy_ one."

W'ever.

All of the sudden, our peoples saw someone dart across the squishy.

"What was that?" Kagome said.

"Whoever's there, come out!" Inuyasha said, not very intimidating.

"More intimidating than you'll ever be," Hana muttered.

Again, w'ever.

The person/thing started to emerge from the shadows. Gasp!

"Gasp!" said everyone else.

Who is the person in the shadows? Will Cocoa ever finish her scarf? Will they ever get out of Miroku's hole? Why does Miroku have a hole?? Will author/Narrator ever stop saying w'ever?? Find out next time!!!

Hey, this squishy stuff is cool, it makes me jump high!

Author jumps up and waves her arms around like a crazy freak.

Hey, I'm not a crazy freak!!!!

"Hey, Author/Narrator, how come you sometimes refer to yourself in third person? You're telling the story, so shouldn't it be 'I'm a crazy freak'?" Fern pondered.

Oh, that's not me! That's _my_ Author/Narrator.

"What? Your Author/Narrator? Is that really necessary?"

Yes, while I'm writing a fanfic about you guys, he's writing a story about me writing a fanfic. He sometimes likes to jump on the computer when I'm in the bathroom and type stuff. He's a little glum cause he can't get his book published. Poor guy.

"He has a book?!" Cocoa exclaimed.

Sure, it's all about my entire life. It's become very long. As of last week, it was 3,978 pages. It's the longest long book in existence.

"You mean besides the Big Dictionary of Knitting Terms, it's 3,979," Said Cocoa.

Yeah, w'ever. Nerd.

I actually just finished reading it.

"Was it any good?"

It was great. It brought back some painful childhood memories that I subconsciously chose to erase from my mind. Did you know, in the seventh grade, a bunch of kids in my class put whip cream all over my face and threw cheetos at me and tried to make them stick?

"Wow, that sucks, " Kagome said, sympathetically.

"What is whip cream? And I have no idea what cheetos are, but they sound really good, " Inuyasha said, with a little bit of drool.

"So how come he cant get his book published?"

I don't know, some rules about plagiarism, blah blah blah. He would post it on fanfiction, but I don't think you can write a fanfic about writing a fanfic. So he's waiting until everybody stops watching Inuyasha and forgets what it is, and he can publish the book without being sued, and everyone will think it's an original idea. Well, I have an appointment to get my toenails cut, so this is where I leave you all. But first I have one more message. This is a shout out to everyone who's reading this fanfic! There's only like three of you, but I want y'all to know you're what kept me going and inspired me to finish this chapter, which I started like forever ago. I'm sorry I was gone for so long, and I'm gonna make it up to you!! I promise! The next chapter is gonna be fcking awesome, okay?! 'Cause I love you guys okay?! I love you!!!!

"Author, are you drunk??"

Umm…..

"Have you been going to the male strip joint again?!" said a disappointed Kim.

Um..N-yeah. But I'll make it up to you, okay? 'Cause I love you!!!

W'ever.


End file.
